Diary of a Mama-Yogi
Verena Primus - Ayurveda Yoga Coaching
12. Make Good Habits Stronger and Bad Ones Weaker
Read time – 5 minutes
Dear Mama-Yogis,
Have you tried to change some of your habits in the past but failed? You are not the only one, believe me!
In today’s newsletter, we’ll tackle the challenges of creating new habits for yourselves. Habits that will lead you to who you want to be and to the goals you want to reach, may this be optimal health, better looks, more success in your relationships, at work, or with your children.
I am sure all of you have tried to change not-so-ideal or even destructive habits, like eating too many sweets or watching too many Netflix series but have failed in the past.
“And why would I then try again?” you might ask. Answer:
Because what you do daily is who you’ll become.
Many people attempt to transform themselves or their lives overnight by hastily adopting new habits. However, this rushed approach often ends in failure. To successfully improve your health and success, it’s essential to follow a more effective method. Firstly, gain clarity on your ‘Why’ – your underlying motivation. Secondly, focus on gradually changing your daily habits, supported by proven strategies. And finally, consider the timing carefully, aligning with the principles of Ayurveda.
You can utilize this springtime not just for detoxifying your body (as discussed in the previous newsletter), but also for decluttering your mind and schedule. This allows you to create space for cultivating new habits while shedding old, harmful ones that no longer benefit you.
In this article, I’ll provide you with some tools to enhance your journey toward improved health and success. These tools will assist you in conducting a Spring-Habit Cleanse, complementing your annual home spring cleaning routine.
This is what we will cover:
- 1. Spring – The Time to Release and Let Go
- 2. Habits and the Definition of the Word Identity
- 3. Make Good Habits Stronger and Bad Ones Weaker
- 4. Four Habit Substitution Techniques
Spring – The Time to Release and Let Go of Old Habits
It is spring. The sun has just come out, and the earth is damp. The first snowbells are decorating the grass, reminding us of the transition time from winter to spring. In Ayurveda and Yoga, springtime is used to cleanse the body. Like in nature, the body’s tissues open from their frozen state in the winter, and all the goo that has accumulated (winter is a time of retaining) has a chance to be flushed out of our system. As the body is programmed in the winter to retain and hold on, so is the mind’s tendency to go within and introspect. During the winter, we decorate our homes and tend to accumulate “stuff” and extra pounds.
Now, in the spring, it is time to do the opposite and get rid of everything that no longer serves you, including bad habits. It is the best time of the year to declutter your preoccupation and your time. It feels so liberating to declutter your days, thoughts, and habits. For this, you want to pause first and then have a look at what you do day-in-and-day-out.
Ask yourselves:
1. Why do I do this?
2. Does it still serve me?
3. Do I want to keep this activity as a part of my daily routine, or not?
Instead of getting rid of worn clothes and nice but unnecessary teacups, you can also take a closer look at your habits and decide which ones to keep and which ones to replace. Because what we do on a daily basis is who we’ll become.
Habits and the Definition of the Word Identity
The word “identity” comes from the Latin word “essentitas“ and the word “iden-tidem.”“Essentitas” means being, and “iden-tidem” means repeatedly.
Translated, it simply means you are what you repeatedly do.
Your life, your successes, and your failures reflect the accumulation of all the small and big things you do every single day. As my husband Jens Wolff puts it, “One day is your life in small.”
It is almost impossible to change your life by improving, optimizing, or upgrading your habits and routines if you don’t change the way you see yourself and the underlying beliefs that keep your current self-image and your current behaviors in place.
First, you need to know your “Why” for wanting to change into the person you want to become or celebrate to be, and then you really want to start identifying with this person.
We are usually focused on changing the outcome and the results, like looking and feeling good, success in our jobs, harmony in our family life, a deeper connection to ourselves and therefore more flow and ease in the way we experience life.
We might have already realized that to change the result you need to change your behavior and incorporate new practices into your life, like carving out more time for ourselves, maybe some meditation, Yoga, silent reflection time, better eating habits, etc. But very rarely do we first change the beliefs that feed our current self-image and sense of identity.
Yet, you will only be successful if you first focus on who you want to be and become. You first need to change your identity. Out of this identity, new habits can sprout, habits that will lead you to the health and life you want to lead.
To understand your “Why” deeply, and to work on your beliefs and how you see yourself now and in fifteen years, is a part of a more intricate Coaching Process that I usually start with my Ayurveda-Yoga Coaching clients after we know more about their individual Ayurvedic constitution and therefore their individual strengths, weaknesses, and general tendencies. In this article, I want to focus, therefore, more on the meaning of the Latin word of identity, “essentitas,” which means being repeatedly or simply put: you are what you repeatedly do.
Here is the action focus of today that will help you get started and take the first steps towards creating better habits for yourself so you can become who you want to be and work towards reaching the goals you want to reach:
Make Good Habits Stronger and Bad Ones Weaker
Step 1: Smiley 🙂, Unhappy-Face 😞, or Neutral-Face 😐 Habit?
Look at your daily habits and routines and decide which ones are positive and fit your sense of identity, and which ones you think are counterproductive. Mark each habit that you’d like to keep with a yellow Smiley 🙂 or a Sun 🌞. Then mark each undesirable habit with an Unhappy Face 😞 or Thunderbolt ⚡. Mark neutral habits with a Neutral Face 😐 or a Blue Cloud 🌥️.
Step 2: Start focusing on integrating one positive habit at a time.
Circle three Smiley habits 🙂 on your list that you would like to embrace and make stronger in your life. Begin by focusing on one positive habit at a time. Only if you have succeeded in integrating that habit over a period of a month or until it feels solid and easy to you, slowly shift your focus to the next Smiley habit 🙂 on your list.
Step 3: Declutter the Unhappy-face habit 😞. Make room for the new Smiley habit 🙂.
At the same time, circle three Unhappy-Face habits 😞 from your list that are no longer in alignment with your goals and sense of identity, and start to declutter them. You want to discard them to make room for your new, more productive habits. Replacement is the key here.
I understand that with habits, it is not as easy as throwing away an old vase before you buy a new one. You need to start at the base of the habit and find out what the habit really gives you as a reward 🏆. Then you need to substitute the not-so-ideal habit with a Smiley habit that gives you the same or a similar kind of reward 🏆, yet brings you closer to the person you want to be. Only by embodying the person capable of achieving the goals you envision, can you truly attain them. Makes sense, right?!
When a child is born also a mother and family is born, and for this new life we need a whole new skill set and tool kit.
Four Habit Substitution Techniques
Allow me to share a real-life example that I believe you can relate to, demonstrating the effectiveness of habit substitution techniques:
The habit of eating chocolate every day starts with the habit of buying chocolate in the supermarket. And that habit is most likely based on what advertising spends millions of dollars on to make us believe: eating chocolate is a reward 🏆 and gives us more energy 🌱. Or what we received as kids and therefore considered a reward.
But is it really true for you today?
Is eating too many sweets and chocolate really a reward for our body, or does it create more undesirable effects on our mind, body, and sense of well-being 😊?
Believe me, I love chocolate too, but I can also live without it when I decide to. I can break a habit or adjust it when I see or learn that it is less than beneficial for me. Every year before Easter, for example, I fast for 40 days and don’t eat chocolate.
1. Tip 1: Make it unavailable.
I simply don’t buy it.
2. Tip 2: Make it hard to get.
The chocolate I might still have at home, I put out of sight or give it away.
3. Tip 3: Find a new or even better form of reward!
I also pay close attention to how I feel after I have enjoyed chocolate or a sweet dessert. I have clearly noticed that if I don’t eat chocolate after lunch, I don’t get tired in the afternoons and have a more sustained energy level and mood. (Explanation: My glucose levels are more stable, and insulin doesn’t spike up.) This joyful realization and good feeling of having sustained energy levels and mood throughout the whole day form a new, better reward for me.
4. Tip 4: Replace the old reward with a more fulfilling one that aligns better with your desired sense of identity!
I still eat chocolate occasionally, but then I have a piece of very dark chocolate (less sugar, less effect on my blood sugar levels) or eat nuts and a date instead.
I hope you find today’s Action Focus exercise fun and helpful in creating new habits, bringing you closer day-by-day, step-by-step, habit-by-habit, to who you want to be.
If you need guidance and support on this transformational journey of discovering your ‘Why’ and defining your desired identity, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me. Having a neutral and professional sparring partner/ accountability partner, someone who knows the tools and the way, can make all the difference in living your truth and embracing your health, or staying stuck in a false sense of security and comfort.
Personally, I always choose growth and challenge, even if it means getting off my ‘a**’ and onto my own two feet. Join me in tackling new adventures and experiencing yourself in this incredible life!
With love and light,
Verena Gayatri Primus
Ayurveda-Yoga Coach and Teacher
www.verenaprimus.com
Whenever you’re ready, there are 5 ways I can help you:
- Guided Ayurvedic Home Cleanses: Your Spring and Fall Reset and Rejuvenation Learn to conduct regular Ayurvedic Cleanses followed by Rejuvenation Periods from the comfort of your own home and within your usual schedule, making it a consistent practice, instead of a onetime experience. Clear your slate and start anew!
- Ayurvedic Constitutional Assessment: A Gateway to Transformation
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- Ayurveda-Yoga Coaching Program: Your Journey of Ongoing Transformation
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